i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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