East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
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