Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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