You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
My vagina just recognized that song.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Randomize
