Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
