Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
