come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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