Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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