The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
