My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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