you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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