I'm so fucking centered right now
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
