This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
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