He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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