Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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