I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
