I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
