You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
