i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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