So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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