Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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