She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
So here I am, sexting at work.
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