college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I have post one night stand depression
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
