16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
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