Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Randomize
