I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
This is my life. Enjoy the view
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
