I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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