Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
