I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
