dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize