5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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