I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just forgot I was standing up.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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