You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
