I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
