i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Well I just put wine in my tea
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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