Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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