I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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