On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
