it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
