Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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