the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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