I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
A bitchslap is in order.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
