I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
