whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
