he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
