im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
