who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
