i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
