If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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