He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
cat food counts as protein by the way
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
