ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
