My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
