i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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