like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
