Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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