I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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